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A Food Service Worker’s Complaint to Liberty City


CluckinBell

To Governor John Hunter,

As a constituent, I believe you have been a doing as much as you can to make this great American city the best it can be. However, there are a few areas that need some hasty improvements. Minimum wage is a good place to start. I work at the Cluckin’ Bell in Cerveza Heights, and five bucks an hour (no pun intended) just won’t cut it. Hell, a pair of socks costs $150, with all the city damages that have occured in the past year. Taxes are harsh, and auto insurance is through the roof!

Camera

Security footage minutes before the robbery

And while we’re on the subject, there are some pretty serious safety issues in our fair city. I used to park my car on the street nearby my workplace, and after it disappeared and turned up two hours later without doors and at the bottom of Duke’s Bay, my premiums are through the roof. It’s not even safe to WORK anymore. The photo above is from a security camera outside my job, shortly before the suspect, somehow able to hide a baseball bat, seventeen molotov cocktails and a rocket propelled grenade launcher in his pockets, stole the register and left me with more holes than I started the day with… luckily, new advances in medicine got me back on my feet in a few minutes (those ambulance drivers are dangerous), but they took 10% of all the money I had, even in my bank accounts. How do they have a magic counter of my assets? Even worse, the suspect resisted arrest, stole a police cruiser, knocked down every traffic light from here to Algonquin and took five officers to subdue. What was the result? His weapons were taken and he was released without bail! Not even a slap on the wrist! Everytime this guy walks into my Cluckin’ Bell I wet myself, but do the police even bat an eyelash when he cuts an officer off, thirty miles over the speed limit when he finishes his Cluckin’ Huge Meal?

Degrading

Flat out degrading, wouldn’t you say?

On a much less serious note, human dignity standards have also been lacking. The above picture is me in my “Work Uniform”. Is this dignified? Do you trust someone wearing THIS to safely cook your food? Or to survive that wonderful grease fire behind me that lit my head cover on fire and the manager made ME pay for? Mom was right, I should have finished my degree in Philosophy.

You know what, I think that’s what I’m going to do… I’m going to move back home and finish my degree! As long as I sell my car, take public transport, eat only ramen and never go out, in about four years, I’ll be able to afford a flight back! I’ll have to live with my folks for a bit, but with a degree in Philosophy, who knows what kind of work I could find! I wish you luck, Governor. Next stop for me, Los Santos!

GTA5

Grand Theft Auto V is currently set to be released in Q2 2013, most likely Rated M for Mature. The setting is Los Santos…

It’s always good to try something new! Let us know what you think of this article by leaving a comment below!

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About RedGuinness

Andrew Shortall (RedGuinness) is the Writer, Editor, Administrator and founder of Stay-At-Home Gaming. He also suffers from sleepless nights, summer new release withdrawals and trying to behave himself in front of his new nephew.

5 comments on “A Food Service Worker’s Complaint to Liberty City

  1. Stephen Wolling
    January 16, 2013

    Looking forward to this game. Rockstar almost always exceeds my expectations.

    • RedGuinness
      January 17, 2013

      They really do put work into their games in the last ten years the only disappointment has been their Table Tennis game, and for what it was, it was still pretty damn good.

  2. Digitoll
    January 24, 2013

    I always thought the employees at Cluckin’ Bell were nice… Haha, I honestly can’t wait until GTA 5 is out, I just pre-ordered it yesterday!

    • RedGuinness
      January 25, 2013

      It’s a hard job serving all those wonderful mafia guys in town, but someone’s gotta do it! GTA V is gonna be awesome. Writing a review with so much to do in the game is gonna be a hell of a challenge!

      • Digitoll
        January 27, 2013

        The challenge is certain, but it’ll be another challenge surpassed! I’ll be looking forward to your reviews!

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This entry was posted on January 16, 2013 by in Comedy, Gaming Fun and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .

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