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The Lighter Side of The Sword Coast: The Misadventures of Kalvanis Mantalir


The Lighter Side of the Sword Coast

Dale Reckoning 1368

 Entry 1.

 I, Kalvanis Mantalir, finally have something to write in this stupid book Gorion bought me years ago. Sure, I guess I could have used it for my studies, but they were always so boring!

Well onto the good stuff, I met with Imoen today, and she let slip that old Gorion is taking me out of this stuffy library and into the wide world! Finally. Sure, part of being a good bard is learning as many tales as you can, and Candlekeep certainly has those in abundance. But they are all ‘written’ I haven’t had anyone tell me a good story in ages! Even Winthrop’s jokes have been a bit lame lately. I hope I can convince Father to let Imoen come with us, I bet she’d like to get out of here too.


“You know Mister G won’t hear it…”

I’ve pretty much got this adventuring stuff down pat anyway. Just the other day I retrieved a lost book, saved a poisoned cow and aided the guard in collecting some supplies. The day before I got some practice in when the Gatewarden started summoning all sorts of nasty creatures to practice my sword work on. I tell you what, ‘nothing’ in this world is more fierce then a cornered kobold, my knee is still sore!

Oh sure I know there are other things out there, ogres, hobgoblins, and orcs. But in the stories the hero always wins, and I can pretty much tell I’ll be a hero already. I ‘did’ save Reevor’s storehouse from those rats after all. Yep things are looking up, I’ll be famous! The best bard in all the land! The—-

Note to self: Winthrop doesn’t like it when I narrate my journal entries out loud (durned stick in the mud.)

That reminds me…I have to pick up my laundry from the bunkhouse. Prepare yourself journal for this is only the first of many more to come! We’re going to do great things! We—

Note to self: Seriously, stop narrating out loud you keep getting odd looks.


By Tymora’s right butt-cheek! That madman tried to kill me! Not ‘fake summoned kobold whacking away with a basal wood club’ try to kill me either! This guy was for real! He had a real dagger and everything, good thing I had my lute with me, he might have gotten me if I hadn’t cracked him over the head and called for the guards.

Note to self: Buy new lute. Oh, and do not use lute as a club ever again.

Gorion is so right, we need to get out of here. Luckily out in the world nothing bad happens to the good guys. Imoen was right though, Gorion said it would be to dangerous for her to come with us, which is a real bummer, I’ll just have to tell her all about my great adventures when I come back!


Apparently this book was supposed to be for spells, Gorion is a bit cross, so I’ll have to transfer this over to a new book later.


Gorion is not amused when he gives me gold for supplies and I return with a broken lute, a sheathed sword and mild stab wound.


About failedwell

Is a semi disgruntled vet who...GET OFF MY LAWN YOU INGRATES!

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