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Lighter Side of The Sword Coast: The Misadventures of Kalvanis Mantalir Volume X


20140204-095320.jpgEntry Twenty Four

Heroics! Heroics all around, I simply can’t describe to you the gallantry that occurred in our grand escape from the vile forces of banditry!

Course not, you ran into a pole and got knocked out in the first twenty seconds of the fight.

Nonsense! All a ruse I assure you, I took their down leader expertly, finishing the fight.

He tripped over you, and I put an arrow in his eye…

Yes yes, you were there too, really Imoen your grandstanding is getting out of hand…and stop writing in my journal you wastrel!

As I was saying, the battle went swimmingly, and we have learned that these bandits have another camp in the Cloakwood. Apparently they have taken up the mining business…I wonder if this has some greater significance… Of course it does you dolt.

SPiderBGEntry Twenty Five

The Cloakwood is an odd place, full of adventure and…erm diabolical monsters of fearsome reputation. We have been here for several days, and have not had a moments rest. Even my wondrous skills with the lute does not seem to help my companions in this dark place. In fact, even Imoen has been cowed by this dark wood.

Course I have, spiders, I bloody hate spiders…

BG3

Most terrible of all was that fat creature in the great web, some sort of spider demon no doubt, controlling her terrible minions, we bare made it out of there, and if not for my quick thinking we sure would have perished.

You yelled “run away” and shot a fireball, I mean a monkey with a wand could have done that!

I made a tactical retreat and laid down cover fire, get it right!

ANYWAY, we seem to have gotten away from the spider infested section of the wood, only to find ourselves near a Wyvern lair. While I was eager to hunt the beast several of my companions have brooked caution, and we are trying to sneak our way past as we speak.

Oh aye, so eager you wet yourself!

Well I NEVER!

Mine

Entry Twenty Six

We have come finally to our destination! The mine in the middle of the woods, near no mountains at all…it’s almost as if an artist put it in the wrong place in some grand painting…anyway, we are here! We have battled our way to the entrance, through a rather fleet of foot adversary, who once again knew my name! I have certainly become quite famous, but everyone seems to want to put arrows in me…I wonder if Elminster has to deal with such indignities.

My companions are resting as we prepare to delve into this surely inhospitable place, to find our answers, to come to an end of our quest and save the Sword Coast! Unless of course there is more to the story, but I doubt it really, this is obviously the lair of our nemesis, whoever he may be. Speaking of, what a rude fellow! How am I supposed to curse my opponents name like in all the real good stories if I never find it out? He’s being very inconsiderate to my heroic pursuits, but alas such is the way of this dastardly villain, now we go! Onward, to victory!

Ooh ooh! Did you write this right before you barged in the door than ran away screaming when those dozen guards popped out?!

SILENCE YOU!

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About failedwell

Is a semi disgruntled vet who...GET OFF MY LAWN YOU INGRATES!

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This entry was posted on December 16, 2014 by in Uncategorized.

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