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Top Five Worst Ideas for New Telltale Games Series


Telltale Games

Not everything should be made into a Telltale Games series…

I really do love Telltale Games. As the owner of both seasons of The Walking Dead and the first two episodes (and accompanying Season Passes) for Game of Thrones and Tales from the Borderlands, I have enough faith in the company to pre-order their episodic content. I occassionally browse news articles waiting for the studio to announce another great IP like Star Trek or to get the “Telltale treatment” and be engrossed in another fantastic, memorable story.

Then I heard about Minecraft being the next game to be released, a game with no set story, characters or settings. Of course this got me to thinking which franchises would make for a great game, and I sadly came up with a lot more duds than I thought. It seems not every game should be adapted. So here are the worst I could come up with in our Top Five Worst Ideas for New Telltale Games Series!

5.) Cast Away

Cast Away

“WILSON!!! WILSON!!!”

Why people would want it: We know that Telltale Games can do survival in interesting ways thanks to Walking Dead. Using a star like Tom Hanks could only bring more credibility to the studio and it would be interesting to explore the effect that the isolation caused in some of the unseen parts of Chuck Noland’s struggles.

Why it would suck: Here’s the problem…it’s a little one dimensional. Having no characters to interact with is a major departure from one of the best parts of the Telltale Tool: the way other characters can change the story. I imagine Wilson would probably be fun for the first two episodes, but probably not for an entire season. Plus, the choices probably wouldn’t be as interesting: do I work on securing water or making a hut?

It might work as on an open-world platform like Far Cry, but not for this kind of game.

4.) Metal Gear Solid

Ninja RaidenDon’t you want more of this guy? Hello?

Why people would want it: Metal Gear Solid is a series that has been around for over a decade, was critically acclaimed and has a wonderful, rich world that makes for a lot of stories you could tell. Plus, with the lacking story of Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance and the disappointment with the length of Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes, Konami could use a bright spot for the series to make The Phantom Pain more appealing.

Why it would suck: Metal Gear’s strengths lie in unconventional gameplay and interesting easter eggs. It’s flaws lie in the dialogue, which is a major part of the Telltale Tool. Massive monologues by boss characters would leave little for the player to do, and even when they have the chance, there’s only so many ways to repeat the same dialogue to consider it a “choice.” Plus, if Hideo Kojima decides to have a hand in it, and he probably would, the majority of the game would be cutscenes.

I played Metal Gear Solid 4, and Telltale Games already have enough dialogue.

3.) Seinfeld

Seinfeld

Did they get out of that jail cell?

Why people would want it: A major television series with fans who can still recite the lines (NO SOUP FOR YOU!), there are plenty of homage moments that could be played out differently, and the sales would be great.

Why it would suck: One of the major complaints about Telltale (if any occur) is the lack of solid gameplay outside of Quick-Time Events. For a show that is famous for having nothing happen, this would bring those criticisms to the front lines. Even worse, you’d probably have to sit through the standup scenes and choose between making a bad joke about airline food or making a bad joke about what the deal is with DMV lines.

I’d rather be in a DMV line than hear five episodes of jokes that were outdated even in the 90’s.

2.) Metroid

SamusNot this Samus, not this Samus…

Why people would want it: Um, it’s Metroid? Samus Aran is probably one of Nintendo’s greatest characters and unlike most of the other series from R&D1, this one only has one game that was badly received (even the Pinball one was fun). More Metroid would be fantastic.

Why it would suck: It wouldn’t…unless Nintendo decided that Other M was a good direction for the series, in which case it would be a bloody disaster. The game singlehandedly destroyed the air of mystery Samus had, and made her whiny and incapable to boot. You wouldn’t get missiles until the third episode, you’d probably learn more about her time with the Galactic Federation (please no), and worst of all, it would probably only be on the Wii U thanks to Nintendo’s super-restrictive licensing.

Does anyone who would appreciate this game even have a Wii U?

1.) Twilight

Twilight

Why people would want it: No comprehensible reason.

Why it would suck: Hehe, unintended pun. Simple enough: Telltale does a great job of using the established world without hurting canon. For anyone who actually purchased this hypothetical monstrosity, they’d have to see the characters they love, which means they’d have to be close to the families, which means they’d have nothing interesting to choose.

If they were someone else, it would be a crappy teen love story. Better to save the money on licensing and make a good story.

What crappy ideas for a Telltale Games series do you have? Let us know in the comments below, and look for our Top Five Best Ideas for New Telltale Games Series soon!

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About RedGuinness

Andrew Shortall (RedGuinness) is the Writer, Editor, Administrator and founder of Stay-At-Home Gaming. He also suffers from sleepless nights, summer new release withdrawals and trying to behave himself in front of his new nephew.

3 comments on “Top Five Worst Ideas for New Telltale Games Series

  1. KotBT
    January 9, 2015

    Three words: Ren and Stimpy.

  2. Pingback: Top Five Best Ideas for New Telltale Games Series | Stay-At-Home Gaming

  3. Pingback: Lionsgate Invests in Telltale Games | Stay-At-Home Gaming

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This entry was posted on January 9, 2015 by in Gaming Fun, Top Five List and tagged , , , , , .

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