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The Lighter Side of the Sword Coast: The Misadventures of Kalvanis Mantalir Volume XII


“I am the Law!” ~ Flaming Fist battle cry, pompous jerks…

Entry Twenty Eight

Finally! We have received the recognition we deserve, you the kind that doesn’t involve someone trying to murder us in our sleep. Or on the road, or in a tavern, or while setting up camp, asking directions, taking a…well you get the point. A man named Scar, odd name that…but regardless, he’s the Captain of the Flaming Fists in Baldur’s Gate! And he took the time out of his day to come and greet us personally when we arrived to the city. And of course he wanted our help in looking into some strange activity amongst the city’s merchants. Being the heroes we are we told him we’d make it a priority. Now I know we came here to look into this Iron Throne (I’m sure I’ve heard that somewhere) but that doesn’t mean we can let this fine city go without our aid! Onward to glory!

Yeah, I bet it had nothing to do with the two hundred coin he offered us…

Of course it didn’t! Why would you even bring that up?

20131203-123830.jpg“Squeek! Squeek!” ~ Boo

Entry Twenty Nine

I swear this city is in complete chaos, it’s a wonder that it’s survived without us at all really. Minsc warns that Boo senses danger around every corner, and our most wise furry companion is right to be worried! Necromancers, Basilisks, illegal gambling dens, the list goes on. We even saved a nymph from not one, but count the two, two evil wizards. We are assuredly building a grand name for ourselves which will never be besmirched by something small and petty. Though I can’t shake the feeling that we’ve forgotten to do something.

You mean like looking into the strange merchant behavior, or discovering why the people behind the Iron Throne want us dead? Though I bet that has more to do with the fact that we’ve visited every tavern in town looking for “clues”.

I’ll have you know that taverns are THE best place to gather rumors.

Sure, but does every rumor have to come after another ale?

I don’t get what you’re implying.

What a surprise.



“And Gorion called ME the young one…”

Entry Thirty

I don’t know who to trust! Is Minsc, Minsc? Is Neera, Neera? Am I even me?! The Seven Son’s Merchant guild that Scar (if that’s his real name!) sent us to was full of these gray amorphous people that…turned into other real people! I mean what the hell is that? How are we supposed to know who’s who now? I’m pretty sure about Minsc, Boo is wise and would sense such deception from his companion, and Neera, well I’m not sure one of those things could quite mess up a spell like she does. Yeslick? I don’t know enough about him, he could be one! And Dynheir…I don’t think even Boo can tell what is on her mind on a good day. And Imoen…I’ve known her for so long, but what if I can’t tell? How can she possibly prove that she really is her.

You’re and idiot.

Well that’s settled. But I’ll still be keeping an eye on the others.

Note to self: See if we can find a nice one of those gray things to replace Imoen with…

What will our bumbling hero do next time? Stay tuned…or subscribed or whatever to find out!

About failedwell

Is a semi disgruntled vet who...GET OFF MY LAWN YOU INGRATES!

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